Thursday, January 14, 2010

Darkness and light

So, my daughter actually slept in the other morning and so, I was able to get up before her and start my rituals in the bathroom.  She came in at one point squinting because the brightness of the light was too much for her sleepy eyes.  She said, "Too bright mommy, too bright!"  It got me thinking...
I have been thinking a lot lately about rejection.  We all have been rejected at one time or another and it hurts really bad.  Its just part of life, I guess.  But, I think I've come to a conclusion about a certain type of rejection.  It's between darkness and light.  You know that the two can't co-exist.  One can't be in the presence of the other. One rejects the other... I have watched people who are not really walking with the Lord get irritated or frustrated with the people in their life that love them the most. They regect them I KNOW... I have been there!  When I was in college, I wasn't actively walking with the Lord. I lived with my sister  WHO WAS.  She got on my nerves a lot.  It was because my flesh was battling with her spirit.  I rolled my eyes at her all the time.  But, it was because she was speaking truth to me and I just didn't want to hear it.
 When I see this going on now, I totally get why!!!!  It's because we are so freaking stubborn, selfish, and completely living out of our flesh.  This only leads to poor decisions, hurts, and regrets.
This gives me such perspective when I try to figure out why people would want to hurt me.  Or why people hurt people in general.... It's the darkness and light thing.  Our flesh cannot co-exist with the Spirit of God.  That's why we HAVE to die to ourselves everyday so that our flesh won't get the better of us and hurt people in the process.  So, if you are going to get mad, get mad at the enemy.  He is the master-mind behind all of this.  he's behind all the pain, hurt, misery, and  addictions.  And remember wounded people wound people.  Love you all.  Have a good night!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

waste of time

As we go through rough times and trials it requires a lot of time of devotion to prayer and mental processing.  Which is all good.  I think God wants us to 'wrestle' with stuff and not take anything lightly.  BUT, I was convicted today about the time I spend thinking about me and my little 'ole life.  I realized today that the things that are keeping me up at night and the things that make me cry  or the things that consume my mind are really at times, very selfish things.  I mean, read Ecclesiastes... wow.  Our life is so a vapor.  In an instant I am going to be looking my Maker in the face and He is going to ask me how I spent my time down here on this earth!  I want to be able to give Him a good answer.
I mean, shouldn't sex-trafficing keep me up at night?  shouldn't little boys made to kill their parents and join an army cause me to weep in my bed?  What about the women in my community that are in chains and bondage of the strip club industry.  Why do I cry at my petty little stuff and not weep at them????  this is really disturbing me tonight.  I am too worried about my little ole self.  I need to be interceeding for the lost, the broken, the hurting, the less-fortunate...  Why do I do this?  Why do we all do this?  Lord, forgive me.  This is the first week of training for the Lexington Half- marathon.  It is MArch 28th.  I already have 42 people signed up to run in my running group "running for the refuge"!  praise God.  I pray that we can pull together and make a huge impact on this ministry.  Let me know if you want to be a part of a revelutionary movement.  Love you all!